Be still and know that I am God4
If you ask the majority of women who are 38 weeks pregnant what their main concern is at this point in their pregnancy, you’d likely get answers such as “how much longer until I go into labour?” or “how long will I be in labour?” or even “what’s it going to look like being a mom of x number of children”. I honestly wish these were my biggest concerns.
I’m about to give birth to a child in the midst of a world-wide pandemic. Read that sentence again. I never thought I’d ever say anything like that in my lifetime, but here I am. I’m currently sat on the couch in the comfort of my living room, half afraid to go outside because I may come in contact with someone infected with COVID-19.
There are so many unknowns in my immediate future, like whether or not one of my family members will contract this virus, and if we do, how will it affect myself, my husband or my daughter, who may have asthma? What about my unborn (or then, perhaps, newborn) child? Will he contract it and how will his tiny body react to the virus? What will my labour look like? Will I be allowed to have my husband by my side as I welcome my son into the world? If he is there, for how long after the birth will he be able to stay with us before he’s forced to leave the hospital and his wife and son behind? With the regulations and recommendations changing on a daily (and hourly) basis, I honestly will not know until the very moment in time that I walk into the hospital.
But with all that said, I also know that my future is not in my hands. Unlike many other expectant mothers that I know, I have faith in a God that is greater than my worries, and greater than this scary virus that is plaguing the earth. And it is because of that faith that I know I can face my fears and unknown future with a strength and peace that “surpasses all understanding” (Phil 4:7).
Anyone that knows me, knows that I use music as a way of ministry. I sing, I play music, and I do it all for the glory of God. But they would also know that I believe music and its lyrics can not only be used as a worship to God, but as a reminder of God’s promises in times of trouble. One night, while laying in bed I was talking to my husband, Adam, about our fears and worries of the upcoming months. I turned over to go to sleep and was overwhelmed with fear and sadness. The last two months of my pregnancy looked nothing like I thought it would-or should.
But God brought a song to my memory in that instant- as he often does when I’m overwhelmed with fear. It was the simple, yet scripturally sound “Be still and know that I am God”. As I sang the song in my head, I could hear God telling me “I’m in control, Sabrina. I have this all in my hands. Still your heart and know that -I- am God. I am God of this situation. I am God of your unborn child. I am God. It instantly calmed my mind as I rested in the fact that I was not the god of my situation, but He was.
This beautiful hymn reminds of Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The all-sovereign God was, and is, in control of my situation and knew exactly how things were going to pan out in the end. He knew that my mother would be forced to close her hair salon due to precautions of this virus, allowing her to self-isolate long enough to come in and stay with us for the weeks before and after the baby is born. He knows exactly what will happen in the hospital and will protect me through the entire process.
So, although I may have absolutely no idea what the next few weeks and months hold for me and my family, I know who does. I know that “all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Rom 8:28).